November 1
Didn't realize DST was supposed to happen. I was so confused when the time went back an hour earlier today. I was wondering why it was suddenly 1 AM all over again; I decided that it was time to sleep because I figured the sleep deprivation from the previous nights was finally getting to me.
I felt like writing today but again, whenever I get down to typing it all just fades away. Maybe I should take up writing my thoughts by hand again. And maybe I'll try to draw as well. Sketching, for me, is hard. Whenever I open up my sketchbook, the blank pages feel intimidating, and it makes me feel like whatever I draw has to be presentable despite just being a simple pencil sketch. I start thinking, well, I'm taking up space on the page to draw, it should at least look good, right? There's also this longing I get when I see other people's artwork. Not at all envious, but just wishing I had an ounce of talent to be able to draw at all. This sketchbook that Angel got for me during the summer has barely been touched because of that mindset. And I know I can't improve if I can't even bring myself to draw.
This will probably going into my rambling section if I ever finish it, but earlier today I was thinking about myself and biculturalism. I grew up with two cultures, my home culture and the surrounding culture. One valued traditionalism and family, the other valued modernism, independence and freedom. The two clash quite often, and so I grew up with differing opinions of things. I wonder if this has also made me a close-minded person?
October 31
New blog layout! Let's see how long this'll last. Today was an eventful day, though I somehow don't remember much of it.